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20130124
20130201
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COM 4
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Search Results 0 to 3 of about 4 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Jan 28, 2013 10:30am PST
's not that hard. there once was a man name barack who's re-election came as a shock. he raised the taxes i pay and then turned marriage gay. and now he's coming after your glock. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] poet laureate, please. now, i'm not going to do a critical deconstruction of obama's partisan screed masquerading as an inaugural speech. now is not the time to criticize. i will just say this, it was a clear call for a radical, collectivist agenda. listen to this language. >> we, the people, still believe that enduring security and lasting peace do not require perpetual war. we, the people, still believe that every citizen deserves a basic measure of security and dignity. for we, the people-- we, the people-- we-- we-- we-- >> stephen: we, we, we. all the way home. [ laughter ] this little piggy is sick of it! socialist overreach is coming. by february we'll all be chained up in solar-powered asparagus gulags being force-fed birth control pills by illegal immigrants who gay-marry us to endangered sea turtles. [ laughter ] my advice: find a good looking turtle-mate soon; you don't wa
Comedy Central
Jan 30, 2013 11:30pm PST
, your tax dollars are still being spent on the case. house republicans hired super-straight, super-lawyer paul clement to defend marriage to the tune of $2 million dollars. [ laughter ] now, the case won't be heard until march, but that money is already buying brilliant legal arguments from clement like: "marriage should be limited to unions of a man and a woman because they alone can produce unplanned and unintended offspring." [ laughter ] damn straight. yes! yes, marriage is for straight people, who can go to a wedding, get tanked on chablis, and make a baby, barebacking it in a coat closet. [ laughter ] as -- [cheers and applause] fans of the coat closet. that's how god intended it. [ laughter ] planning to have kids just isn't right. [ laughter ] but perhaps the strongest argument clement yanked out of his law-hole is this one: "gays and lesbians have attained more legislative victories, political power, and popular favor in less time than virtually any other group in american history. given that the ultimate inquiry focuses on whether a group needs the special intervention of
Search Results 0 to 3 of about 4 (some duplicates have been removed)